Pet peeves and impatience

Now I will admit that when it comes to pet peeves I have a few, because I have a tendency to be possessive about "my stuff", I love books and I'm one of those people who fastidiously keep the spines unbroken, and the pages unfolded, what can I say I like to keep things the way they were, but after a couple readings books get tattered, and then its more like a good friends then a mint condition prize LOL. Though that may be my biggest peeve, I have to say the one that bugs me the absolute most is when people don't return calls, granted even I have forgotten from time to time, but when a person never calls you back when they say they will (and no there not trying to avoid me) that really kind of pisses me off, pardon the bad language.

How hard is it really to pick up the telephone and dial a number? Not very if I'm the one who did it in the first place. The reason this topic has been brought up is one of my 'friends' she practically is attatched to her cell, I mean in a surgical graphed way. The girl even leaves it on during moves. But my lack of tolerance doesn't end there, she has the most grating voice, and I don't mean to sound like a discrimatory person, she had a handicap, and I don't make fun of her for it. She has one of the most gratting voices known to man, and looks like well a male, if I may be so blunt. But none of those things bother me overly much, we've had discussions with her about other things.

A couple years ago she hurt her ankle in a go carting accident, which should have by all means healed by now, but she didn't work it when it was healing and did none of what her physio therapist suggested, that and she weights quite a bit. So she had taken in the habit of complaining about it and using it as an excuse to be lazy. We took it for a year before we told her that we weren't going to listen to it anymore. It was not my decision, but I supported it all the same. That was a year ago, or more. Well since then she has dropped a little weight and is looking slightly better.

I have never hated her for being what she is physically, its her attitude that is grating, She acts like she's better then everyone and more popular to boot, I have seen her work and she is slow and incompetent with people, and no one fires her because they pity her. Given that and the fact her mother does all the fighting for her and the fact that she is admitted to the hospital for every little cough I cannot blame her for the way she turned out in that aspect. But she is quite possibly the laziest person I have ever known.

In high school she took the minimum requirements to graduate, which is fine, I know more the one person who has done it, but know she has decided what she wants to 'be when she grows up' she is complaining about how hard all the classes will be to take now, and I told her a politely as I could that they were hard then when the rest of us took them.

I guess its really not that which bugs me the most though, its her choice, its a job she couldn't really do. Granted it is more feasible then her becoming a E.M.T (lets face it her hands can't support her even cutting someone open, much less carrying them, and she is not in half the shape she would need to be). Now she wants to be a sound tech, which is fine w/e but I've seen her around a computer, she's almost as bad as my mother was when we got our first machine, one finger typing and all. Not only that but I was in band with her for 4 years or so (she never learned how to play her instrument, even with the band teacher telling her she had no excuse, along with everyone around her. And she complained that the rest of the section hated her, of course when you can't sound good cause someone's not pulling their weight!) she's tone deaf as far as I'm concerned, and with her being a trombone, that is almost a sin against nature because out of anyone who should know they are playing the wrong note it should be them (coming from a modest French horn players opinion). Someone once told me that a trombone could be the most in tune instrument because you can adjust it completely when your playing, not that any other wind player can't LOL.

But I must sound very much the hyprocrit though I think that would be using the wrong word. Making it sound like everyone abandoned me and that I was a good friend, and couldn't understand why I don't have more here. How can I when I think this highly of one of them. Truth be told I almost cut her loose once over a stupid prank we played on her, she got upset I called to apologize and her mother listened in and bitched at me, when I hadn't been the one to initiate it. Bad enough I went along, she was childish I didn't want to apologize but my ex pretty much made me. All I remember was being glad it was over msn because I could almost hear my teeth grating when I typed the words. Out of the two of us (me and my ex) we had known her the same length of time and I never said half the degrading things he said to her. But still she pretty much chose him over me when we broke up. But there's a lot to pick on, like the comment 'wow the sun sure looks on fire' and actually quote which was said in all seriousness.

I don't know if its her stupidity or laziness that bugs me more, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to put up with it, by all rights I should have drifted away from her a long time ago. Silly me.

Getting to know people

Admittedly I will tell you that for the past while I have been fairly lonely, not for male companionship mind you but someone besides my family to which I can talk to. Has anyone else felt this way? Surely someone must have, but again most of you have more friends then you know what to do with as well. I have never really been quick to jump at the opportunity to make a friend, I usually let people seek me out, which usually happens, I'm not threatening, around 5'5 and not fat but not slight either, with the biggest round glasses you have ever seen. They make me look comforting, like hot chocolate I guess.

But I fear being of the amiable nature to which I have been predisposed, and the patience to listen to stories, and the natural inclination to take peoples minds away from what is bugging them if there is nothing to be done about it, I think I make a good friend. But I have not been in any sort of mood, or crowd to gain new people in my life. The ones that I know here in my home town have for the most part gone away for school, or I just never see them anymore (the dire affects of having to graduate). While I was going to school I met people I would consider friends, actually quite a few even if I was never really there besides in class, and even then only half the time.

But since I moved home I've only seen one of them again though I've talked to one of them every now and again to see how he is holding up. It has been a long time since I have sought friendship over the internet (and I know you are gasping) but today I started chatting to one of the people I roleplay with (and not in the cyber sex way, I don't have any of those friends, thank the gods). I was a little unsure and extremely curious about this person because they were exceptional when it came to writing and I felt my own powers slightly inferior (and I do recognize the fact that I have but as the starting word for more then one paragraph). So I ambled on about numerous things, learning the trivial things like her sign and then I couldn't help myself from asking some of the deeper questions and found that she asked a few in return.

We broke from the chat when I went to the gym to do cardio and visit my mother at work, and when I came back she was mad at someone and I listened to her carefully and said all the things I felt where appropriate, though I never really give advice to people when I don't really know them. She was upset but the fact was slightly old and I let her rave and when it came time I talked about other things, where I'm from, and the weather for the most part and it left me wondering. Did I make a new friend, I would like to think so because normally I don't really talk a lot over msn but I found that I damn near babbled on to her, which I made amends to. To anyone whose every met me online they will know me for a very apologetic person though in RL I tend to grudge, well not really but sometimes.

Did I make a difference in this persons life? If I have done one thing I hope I cheered her up a littler and when you think about it wanting to do that for someone you have never seen, it is a strange feeling. And it is hard to understand emotion over the internet but even if my company has helped a little I will feel the better for it. And in my attempts for friendship did I push to much and maybe make a little bit of a fool of myself? I hope so! Well not entirely but you get the idea.

So this has left me in a reflective mood, considering the structures of the human world, once again. And the truth has come to me... I need to get a life outside of the computer... Well maybe anyways. What do you guys think? Ah don't answer that, I think I know my life has changed, and not because of today either, I am terrified that I will never find my "true calling" but there's only one way to start, he surgery got me away from my last job, but a new one would do me good. There are a couple barn help ads in the paper, and as always spruce meadows is hiring though if I were to be a groom there I would have to live there as well, which might turn out to be a good thing for me. Working with animals may not sound like the best way to get in contact with people but its a beginning.

I think it is with a little reluctance that I must admit my stepfather offered me a job, it would be good money, I wuold make over 150.00 a day, but it would require around 3 hours or more of driving a day for work I wouldn't care for, working for a man who offered me a job because he needed it filled and he didn't think I would find a job on my own. It hurts the pride a little but I have to tell myself the truth, I can not rely on my mother forever, and I loved living on my own when I did it, but I became on of the boomerang people, that my sociology teacher talked about, alas but I cannot change it now, but I can get ready to go out on my own once more.